BAOC

This whole week has gone by in such a hurry that I haven’t really gotten the chance to reflect. Monday we began preparation for the BAOC 2005 and who would have thought that I would be a Senior Buddy. I thought that I was going to sit back and relax and just be a SC. But I became one and I really thank Lorraine and Henry for choosing me as one. This was because if I wasn’t I think I would have been very miserable. The whole process would had felt like another lousy experience. However, because of this, I also felt very sorry to have neglected my fellow TB03 mates who had been working tirelessly to create the performance when I suggested the first few major amendments to the performance.

When I returned from Sabah which I might add had helped me mature, I was totally lost. The Haka had been learnt and in the midst of perfection. The Dance at the end had also been completed. There was really just preparation and nothing more to be done. I felt like I have done much to help and I didn’t even during the whole process when teaching the freshie the dance. I was with my own group of freshies, TA23.

On with the story, so on Monday, we went back to school to start doing the preparation for the decorations. It was such a rush because we didn’t really have anything solid concept of how our area should look like. And we the performance team felt really fucked up (well quite a number was). Zhi Wei then helped come up with the floor plan which was very thoughtful and wonderful I guess. But that means Zhi Wei would have taken up extra responsibility and somehow we could just leave him to do it alone and so we help out in every way possible. But this whole process has told me one thing, we should had more briefing before we started to doing anything. This was because, I was just doing things that I was told to do because I didn’t have the slightest idea how our final product will look like. I couldn’t really add more ideas. Then during the preparations, I could help in a lot of things as well. It was because I didn’t know how to do it. I mean seriously, I tried my best to tie the wood together with twine but I just couldn’t because I simply didn’t have any experience in tying stuff. So I ended up cutting up and pasting cupboard and then painting them and then decorating them to look like wooden roofs of maori houses. And to think that the girls were tying the wood to together because the wood was really quite rough and hard to tie together. And so we worked to the last minute of the second night. Painting cupboard, cutting cupboard and etc. And SJI had taught me lots of valuable life skills, to do things efficiently and effectively, to strive for excellence but after so many years, I have yet to develop one thing and that’s tenacity. Why do I say so, half way through preparation, I just felt like slacking off and not do anything and many thought that I was tired. I was tired but I could work, that was a fact that bothers now that I’m reflecting back because I would have so much help if I just did a little more. Isn’t that true? If we each took on slightly more work, we would have gotten the work done faster? At first while we were doing this, I tell you I was like scolding the deco team like crazy, how come they came up with such a crappy concept. And then in the performance team was doubling back as the deco team as well. But at the end of it all, I guess it’s the team efforts that counts and that our manpower increased tremendously only after a few days before the BAOC. Henry was being overworked. I sort of felt that he was carrying too much weight on his shoulders. This was because the committee on top, lorraine was around for much of the preparation and then there wasn’t enough SCs coming back to help out.

Then on Monday, I met my partner. Celine. I tell you she was quite cute but sorry to say she damn cold and it’s cold until it’s not funny lar. But I have to say she gets the work done. We didn’t really chat much at the start. Firstly, although I think I’ve seen her in the LT, we have never talked. Secondly, she seemed like the type that talks to you only when necessary. And I’m the type that just don’t really speak my mind. I’m serious. I mean like it felt kinda awkward that we like only said a few words to each other during the first few days of preparations. Anyways, we eventually worked together. But if we had been done some bonding before this, it might have done us some good and we would warmed up to each other faster. And I warmed up to her fortunately thanks to Khay Wai and Li Yu. Our attached SC. They clicked really way and somehow I felt really comfortable with that arrangement and so I could join in. We were in charge of TA23. When I saw the name list, I was like there was so many Chinese names there that could be a guy’s or a girls and I was quite surprised to find the class having a large majority of boys I mean half the class is boys and then Sun Weichang immediately rang a bell. Wei Chang was from my LLTC group (Fratello) back in SJI. But somehow, he seemed different or maybe I’m the one who has changed. So I called half of them to inform them of the BAOC, calling this many people just reminds me of NCC. Reliving the good old days.

I still have a long way to go I guess growing up. The problem is coming back, talking to people. I mean I don’t know why I just can’t stand silent unless I really really alone. What am I saying. Okies illustration here, I sitting with my freshies and for a moment I don’t know what to say. I mean like what kind of question should I ask and can I ask. I mean like I don’t want to embarrass the person or myself. When I all alone, I can heard myself, I can heard what I thinking and it’s because of this that I have to study alone. And when I do projects, I can’t have music in the background and that’s also the reason why for projects I have to do my part and then meet up. Because I can’t conceptualize unless there is silence or I’m alone.

On Wednesday, something crappy happened lar. I took 61 to school as usual. But this time, I miscalculated the time I slept on the bus and ended up Toh Yi Drive. Fortunately it was only two stops away and I was still on time. It damn crappy that I lost my cow and feather on the first day. I was going around telling people that my cow flew away to try and cheer myself up. And I glad that my class people click with one another. The girls with the girls and the guys with guys. But dunno why they don’t talk to me much and neither does Celine. I feel like I need more attention but no one is giving it to me. And it makes me ponder what I need so that I will attract more attention. And I’m trying a certain type of attention and I’m talking about the positive kind and not the negative kind.
Out of the 16 people, I have only been able to grasp 4 person’s personality. Ok not really grasp but more like get a feel, Jasmine Tan, Jasmine Chua, Melvin & Ibrahim. The rest seemed to have kept a relatively low profile so it can’t be helped I guess. We played quite a number of games but if it was up to me, I still prefer SJI peer support’s games. They were much more in depth. The games we played merely got them to know each other. Trust building was far from it. We learnt some cheers on the first day, I felt that my class girls were more enthu than the guys, but I guess they are just not interested in the cheers.
But I like ngee ann cheers a lot. They are way more fun then SJI’s. They are like so much lamer. If Josephians think that their cheers are fun, think again man. On the first day, immediately after dismissal the people dispersed. I mean like sian, I want to get to know my freshie better during lunch but then no one want to join me for lunch. And it was because of this response that I felt that the second day’s turn out would be crap but fortunately 9 came. It’s like so much better than my class lar okies lar +1. I went for lunch with Zhi Wei’s class. There was this SJI boy called Mark. Damn fun lar, we talked cock about all the lame teachers we had. After that we went back to help at the 2nd and 3rd shift orientation. Zhi Wei came up with a lot of funny cheer and I like it a lot man. Super lame super funny. Shan San You Yang and Meh Meh Meh

On the second, we played a lot of games, running from point to point. They were very good to have kept up with me. I have to say that I found Jasmine ( won’t say which one) cute on the first day, but the cute has turned into some kind of respect and admiration. If i continued saying what she did it would be too obvious which one she is liao. The games were really fun. But there was one game that was quite hard and I can’t believe that I actually wanted to cheat by telling them to use the moveable arrows as wild cards. Anyways after that, we gather to go for lunch and it’s damn funny how all the SCs and SBs were losing their voice how we were consuming the pi pa gao I bought, can’t believe we finish the whole bottle. At lunch, I found the other jasmine very cute oso( I can’t tell you why cos you decipher this one, you’ll know who’s the other one liao). Anyways we were behind schedule by about 15 mins but I mean 15 mins is still manageable. The afternoon was damn boring lar, the briefing was like damn sleepy but somehow the chair was now comfortable enuff or because I was just too close to the stage.

During this time, the dancer were already learning the dance and I was not helping, I felt so like I had abandoned my classmates in an attempt to get to interact with my freshies more but somehow I din really get the chance to know them better. I also don’t know what I’ll want to know about them but I just know that I don’t know them well enough. Even Wei Chang who I’ve known since sec 3. there were just so many things that I don’t know about them. But the talks in the afternoon were quite lame I think, I&E talk, ambassador recruitment drive. Even when I’m an ambassador I feel bored. Joshua’s is just not suited. It’s just too monotonous. After the talk, we had debriefing by at 72 fountains and den me and Khay Wai went to have lunch. Before going up to see the dance progress. They were progressing quite well. Although, I’m part of the team, I was doing much for them, the ladies were running the show and zhi wei is more than enough there. So I headed to down to the Convention Centre with Felix. And we help to decorate the booth a bit more. Den Ben start cracking lame joke. They were too darn lame lar. I have nothing much to say but that it’s damn funny when it’s not being played on you. Then we processed inside to see the pageant rehearsal and Clemence joined us and we were chatting about Joel and Joanne. About Joel being a chee hong kia lol haha. The gals made some bets on who would win but in the end, we all lost the bet. Our bets wasn’t crown the King / Queen or at least mine wasn’t. Then there was the performance rehearsal our group has a lot of touching up to do. We practiced late into the night. I learnt how to do the happy dance. I mean it’s way simpler than the other dance routine.

The next day, my day began with Andrew waking me up from slumber at 630am in the morning and he was already on the way to school I mean what the hell lar. He was asking me to bring laptop to school and I was like damn reluctant cause I was still freaking sleeping. Anyways, after that I couldn’t really sleep liao and ended up waking up around 745 and dazing in the shower before I dolled myself up for no apparent reason. Styling my hair in this way for the first time, put on contacts den packing my stuff before leaving. In my mind, I was trying to think of something to give my freshies but I could think of anything personal. I mean if I wrote personal note, they would be of no substance because I simply don’t know them well enough, I will be plainly writing for the sake of writing. So in the end, I decided that I was best that I just bought them something as a token of my appreciation for spending three days with me. I believed this experience has benefited more than it has benefited them. Why do I say this, for the whole year, I was lost. I was preoccupied with my misery, I was preoccupied with getting results that I forgot what was fun about it was during this holidays that I have been able to find it back.

Arriving in the morning, I went to classroom to see the peeps already rehearsing and then , I was fiddling with my com, updating the thing on it, uploading pics, adding my freshies onto my msn and friendster. Later I took some fotos with the performance people before they headed off to their rehearsal and me wh and ky went to KAP to get stuff. Food and some refreshments. After arriving, we went to Atrium to meet our freshies and learn the new cheers for our 1 min cheer com. The cheer are damn fun lar, the Joe- joe was cool but I discovered that our 5 claps respect was a little over used. So the event started with speech and den dances, performances, pageant and power points to sum up all that has happened over the past few days. The last part was a little overwhelming but then it’s alright I guessed. At the end of camp, I always feel this way. Half like crying, the other half like celebrating. After the whole event, I was physically and mentally drained. It took me a while before I was back to being “normal”. The truth is I don’t know what is normal anymore. Is the “cheerful” me normal, or is the quiet me the normal one. We had dinner at Black Canyon Café at Serene Centre after making a big detour from BTP Pizza Hut. The foods not too bad but I have to say not very filling. I met Yan Xiong at Serene’s Mac and we chatted a little. And I noticed a change. He seemed to be more matured, duller, tired. And there I was still like a like noisy, loud, clumsy, have I really grown? I wonder….

It’s seemed a common misconception that 12 pters shouldn’t go to poly and it’s really making me wonder whether I’ve a right choice. I mean all those people who knows my score know ask me this question why ain’t u in JC and it’s simple izn’t, because I’m in poly. And Poly is a good path. And I have to say, because of the extra freedom given by the poly system, I have been able to think more, about my plans and my future. Sure, I have to admit that things seemed to have retardated, progress seemed slow eventhough we’re doing more because things are not as simple as they used anymore, there are just somany more factors to consider. Love ain’t just about how two people having feeling for each other anymore. The friends you have may never as close to you as have hoped for. And loyalty is not so much judged by frequency but by intensity. After dinner, I went home with Nicole and Antheal. We took a bus down to town before, I traveled via NEL down to Harbourfront while they headed north. Chatting about school and stuff liddat. It was a good chat and it was one of those chats where we clicking and everything was spontaneous and there was any what I would consider awkward silence in between.

Haiz, school is gonna start. There is still so much left undone. So many things I want to possess. So many things that I need to prepare for. Haiz. It’s funny how somethings do changes bt it’s funnier how somethings never change.