Something's Missing

Each and every one of us leads a very different life, no matter how similar it is. It doesn’t matter if you guys are the best of friends, playing from young together, you are still leading different lives. Why am I typing this at 1214am on a Tuesday morning, well I just feel so bottled up, so vexing that I just need a outlet to release all this steam.

A lot has been having in the past few weeks. First Christmas came and gone, there was much spirit. I wasn’t feeling excited about it and I actually spent Christmas playing the arcade, how sad. Another thing, you know after every confession, I always tend to feel good but somehow this time I didn’t feel it, something’s simply missing in my life.

The days following Christmas was back to school as usual, news of the tsunami was gradually being broadcasted all over the air waves. Looking at the waves, I was not strong concerned about the people at first but admiring the majesty of the waves. Sweeping everything in it’s way. Only later, when pictures of family looking for their loved ones, not so much for their safe return but a body, be it dead or alive so that at least know.

On New Year’s Eve, I celebrated with my pals, after having pasta, we were at Kevin home, and like I said I just now feeling the spirit. Why do I say that? well.. Here’s why? “Eh, what time izzit? Check Teletext lar.? So we flipped to teletext and guess what, the time was 00:00:41 42 43 .” wow, happy new year… each of us was having a bottle of Heineken and we bottles up and I have to say this is my first time finishing a bottle of beer myself and it seriously taste like piss. I have no idea what is so nice about alcohol.

And fast enough, the first week of 2005 has already gone by, Just another 51 more weeks and the new year would be here again. I spent Friday in CATS, i saw bearing in what I was freaking doing in school that day. My body is there but my soul sure aint. After class, I went back to sji, to see how’s the unit doing, and sure enough, loads has changed, the only people I remember are the teachers and the present sec 3 & 4 and it’s only a handful, I was sitting down there with Sir Melvin. And it’s so darn funny come to think of it now that he doesn’t look that fat and is actually working out at California gym. Another thing is that he didn’t teach the UDIs how to wear their lanyard until I pointed out that they look funny. Went jogging with JT and Sir Melvin after that, was rather slack but then I didn’t stop jogging so it was good. Den they had something news for the UGs, Combined Dismissal Parade, with prayer and stuff. Kinda missed saying prayers in school. After that, me and sir Melvin went to Esso for some snacks, so funny man, he was buying a big container ( dunno what that called u know cylindrical shape like Pringles those kind but wider in circumference) of Hello Panda.
Spent the night out playing pool with the usual pals.

Saturday went back to school for ambassadors, was quite fun. Until after that I dunno why I was feeling very displaced and absent minded. I mean I lost my file, then after that on the buses I took, I missed my stop twice. I don’t know lar, something is freaking missing in my life. After mass at holy family, had dinner at harbourfront macs, den played arcade at ezone alone. Pengz, must seriously stop playing arcade alone. Why was I at Harbourfront, well remember I lost my file, I backtracked to the hawker centre and bus terminal. And so I’ve wasted my time away, and how did I know I was feeling down? Simple I din even complete time crisis 1!!!! . On on Sunday morning, went for mass, was supposed to sing the gospel acclamation but somehow my acclamation became more like an announcement, it was lacking something, like me.

Monday, after class, went to Tiong Bahru Plaza to deposit money into my account. After I went to watch Phantom Of the Opera alone. This was what was damn weird, I was like the only guy alone in the cinema. There was just one other creature of the male species and he was there with his girlfriend. So i felt so awkward but then again, I was there to watch the movie, and I have to say it’s a damn good movie if you like musicals.

Reached home, played a little warcraft, then was watching some Chinese variety programme dunno what izzit called hosted by Jack Neo and Mark Lee. They were featuring this group of grim looking man who looked like gangsters and you know what I felt was very sad was when they featured this man, he looked like some ex convict kind and he came across as stone cold and emotionless. He claimed he has never had a relationship, he haven smiled or cried since birth and it made me pity him while my parents were laughing hysterically. I can’t imagine myself being like him, it just makes me feel so sad.

Just now Kevin, just informed the DOTA team that we’re gonna play again and I’m supposed to be lion and rhasta. And one thing about it, I fucking hate being lion, so darn slow, it makes me feel slow, retarded, laggy. And worst of all, I am freaking dying all the time, why cos I’m not concentrating and dun ask me why I’m not concentrating. Man I just wanna feel good about myself but somehow it seem so hard.