Wings of Pride or Ego?

I asked to be taller
So as to reach higher
Instead You Gave Me Wings
So that I can fly and touch the sky
But You didn’t teach me how to Fly<
~Greg~

Well those words above basically sums what up what I have to say about my life. Today, for many reasons, I feel really down. Somehow I feel inferior and I can’t really express it.

I begin to compare myself with others and I see many difference. Are those difference that make it me so much different from others. Comparing my physical attributes, we are world’s apart, gender, height, appearance, etc etc and yet why is it that she is able to handle so much more and excel so much than I can. Is it because that person has a loving family and I don’t. Maybe? Maybe not? I wouldn’t say I don’t have a loving family I would just say that my family doesn’t understand me at all.

Or izzit because that person has a partner and I don’t. This is something that bewilders me but I am so ignorant of. Is the power of love so great that it gives one the ability to endure and persever longer. Is it so miracleous that one actually feels like doing better? I wouldn’t know cos I never was attached so there not’s point really dwelling on it is there? I am so sick of waiting that I guess that I’m even tired of watching typical love stories of happy ever after.

What ever little confidence that I had has been shattered even if I don’t show it. And in place is a mixture of self-doubt, anxiety, fear and a tiny ray of hope that I will be able to climb out of the hole that I have dug myself into time after time. I don’t know what it is called. I only hope that I can eventually become a man worthy of my dreams and ambitions.

Eventually, I will learn how to fly. Eventually