Love? Life? Love Life? Life is Love?

I have quite a lot on my mind to ponder about this week

• How misery, disdain and deceit has slowly creeped into my life, freezing and numbing my heart
• how HP created a screwed up laptop that broke down barely two month after purchase. fortunately, they regained my trust with their excellent service. They sending the laptop back to me.
• How the taiwanese dramas has made me feel so happy. Made me feel believe or rather remember what sweet romance is all about. Yeah kinda infatuated with xb( aka Joanne Zheng Zhi Qiao from sweety) in magicians of love. The cute features + sweet demure + spun what a perfect blend.

Having said that, it's just a crush and nothing more as i being the low self-esteem, pessimist when it comes to myself (esp love) know that girls like her will never fall for guys like me.

average looks, below avg height, ok family background, slightly average poly grade which = average grades, oh yeah who can forget timid, shy, stage fright, adverse to radicals, quiet reserved and lousy sense of humour.

I was thinking of these things as i jogged in the morning, as i watched tv. You know today i watched a loving couple bickering in the shopping centre, it was quite funny, the other passer-bys were laughing, and then there was this guys staring intently at a collection of couple rings on display. All i have were thoughts, there seems as though there were emotionals in the scenes, i felt no happiness, no joy, no excitement. Why am I so detached from the world and no one even seem to understand let alone care?

As i was jogging, the number 167cm suddenly floated vividly in my mind and I can't but feel the unfairness of this life. Of how, i'm so short and i dun seem be to getting any taller.

I picked up a book the other day: The road less travelled. Because i tot it struck a chord for i had chosen a road less travelled. Not going to JC like most of my peers, staying single on a notion that there is true love in this world, taking a second and third shot at things eventhough it just dun seem to work. So i read it with much interest but also some disbelief when he proclaims that falling in love is not love. Only after reading it( not in detail) did i realise it true.

Well i'm not gonna explained the difference, if u wanna know borrow the book from me. But it's enlightened me to say sorry that i have never been in love. I have never felt strongly enough for any gal for me to will that i want her in my life. I want to spend my life with ya, i want to help you achieve ur goals, i want to embark on a lifelong journey together with you. I just have to say sorry to all those As, Cs, Js, that i've never got down to knowing you all better.