It begins with sighs

-sighs- trying to make my entries meaning eh? haiz.. what trouble just to post my feeling. why the hassle.. It's so vexxing. so frustrating.. such a waste of brain cells and energy. It seems weird that i'm backing out again on my own promise. I guess i have back out/ chickened out/ pussed out/ slacked so much that i now find myself trapped in this vicious cycle where i'm in a constant state of depression, waning hope, weak believe that things will get better once u get in the rhythm, get the hang of it or whatever u like to call. But i find myself powerless to pull myself out of it. I remember doing a problem on HRM last sem urging people to give ex-offenders a second lease at life.

So ironic now, i feel like i'm stuck and praying, hoping for something, someone to come along and be a catalyst. Oh u tink i'm so smart, i'm so happening, so sociable, so confident, so great to have as a group mate, so perfect . But i haven demystify the myth. I has low self-esteem, i take pride in my work because it is the only way to prove my worth, I seem like a somebody but i'm pretty much a nobody, i am probably the one of the few who has given up hope for true love and take comfort knowing that there's always love novels, the love story some where on the internet used to scam people but nontheless loves it because it seems to be the only consolation. I have no life and i used to tink that people who play games and chat and get involved in things have no life. I get having too much free with nothing to do is even worst. Well, i could always do my tutorials but i just too lazy. See no i'm contradicting myself again. U know what i really need. A big distraction. A really powerful and beautiful happy memory..

Oh screw this i have no idea, what i'm talking about anymore , Really need to just clear my tots.