Love and the will to carry on

Alrite... Nothing's going according and i guess everything has me to blame.
Studying has been relatively slow and so many times i find my mind drifting off to something else. I would like to be able to say that it's the big guy's fault but it can only be mine.

This morning i went for a jog and even that was a failure. I din run the 20km i expected. I more probably ran something like 12km and walked the rest of the way. I guess if i dun live up to my own expectations for my first day marathon. I only have myself to blame.

Same goes to my results this sem. I keep saying that i need this to prove that i have what it takes to make it. But it seems that all i have is a half hearted desire. You i really wish that i could do all the tings that i've set out to do.

Like finding the love of my life ( yeah there... i've said it), so many times i feel that it this insecurity that is really holding me back. The need for meaning, maybe i have my castle in the sky, hoping my parents could be more concerned about me in the way i need to be concerned. More than breakfast, i need your constant encouragement. I just to know that there are still things worth fighting for in this world.

Dear God, pls give me the motivation to see me through the life i hope to walk.