Tots

I guess a lot more times i would have scribbled something about how my life sux and how i can't screw up in this or that yada yada. but i decided not to because i guess it doesn't really matter because no one out really want to read ur boring rambling on and on about how miserable ur life is.

Well it was August the 8th and i found myself studying in the skool library alone before the National Day musical and i think to myself, now this image is quite familiar dun u think, how many times have u actually been in that particular area of the library studying alone, feeling crappy and that nothing is going in and that maybe if the chinese gals beside me would just shuddup and study. But at the end of it, you know u're one the controlling the situation but somehow it's not going as planned. Oh well, after that i went for the musical, it was surprisely lighthearted and not too boring. Actually reminded me secondary skool where we got to see performance and we'll get all hyped up about them.

Yeah afterwards, i headed down to SJI for Annual Parade. it was good and bad i guess. Good cos i got to catch with the peeps. all the air guys, but alot of them didn't turn up probably due to NS and other stuff. But well i guess, we're there just to catch up cos the parade kinda blows eventhough we were best air. i mean come on, best air unit with the most number of people falling out and a record 3 ppl for the Guard of Honours. We seriously dun deserve the Best Air den. Alrite with the complaining, after taking a stroll around the skool i have to say i really miss SJI. It's a place when i actually feel that people really cared, people recognized ur presence, they say hi and ask how you are and even sometime well actually most of the time makes me laugh at their hilarious antics. I got to hear about alot of my friends successes in getting into medicine, getting scholarships and going overseas. I so happy for them and I hope that i can mimic their success too. And this is also one of the place where you feel that being good at the tings you do makes people happy for you and not give the feeling of backstabbing. There was friendly competition and brotherhood.

after that i had dinner alone cos anthony was sho slow. but oh well, what's news. later on we play lan and supper. and something strucked me. it was the word "outcast". someone labelled me as an outcast and i began to think, mayb i really am a outcast trying too hard to be accepted. I'm think i'm AA but mayb it's just that not seem to bother about me. and it always goes back to the question "why dun anyone seem to notice me etc etc" and i felt terrible from the after thoughts and gave up.