Compass

Just finished my first week of attachment, feeling really tired after rushing down for Ambassador camp but in the end i guess i wasn't really able to get to know a lot of the juniors. I dunno how come when we get a chance to lie down and rest, we decide to try and find more things for ourselves to do just to keep your mind from thinking about certain things, i guess this is just me.

On the way home from camp, i was really tired and really frustrated, and on the verge on yet another emotional outbreak. i really felt drained and wasted. I look at my life in poly and think to myself, what have i made of myself? it seemed almost like nothing, my grades are fair but not exceptional, my friends in school are a selected few and i dun where i'm really headed anymore.

Looking at my plans and dreams, it seemed like all just a flurry of trying to gain recognition, to gain respect, to accumulate wealth & experience, but i guess i'm not matured enough to actually steer the course and stay through to this plan. I just watch Seabiscuit and i feel so like crying, it has shown me the undying resilience of the heart, to stay true to it, to nv give up no matter want and to find yourself.

But when i look at my life, i wonder once again, how am i to stay true to myself? to say exactly what i feel and stop thinking about other feelings?( is that me?), to nv give up on wad?( my dreams of being a somebody?) and to find myself( but who am i?)...

i guess when i figured out, you guys will figure out too. i'll just hope that some1 can help me find this path. Right now all i see the mist and a lot of road. But which way lead me there? Can some1 pls give directions, if not at least give me a compass