My theories of life

I know i should be studying and not be thinking of stupid things. But i've been rather down, alrite mayb not down just not happy i guess. I mean coming back home, just because i didn't eat dinner my mum gives me that kind of pissed off face. i mean be more understanding can it's not like i dun want to come home to eat one lar. It's just that things keeps cropping up. And in the morning, i'm always rushing, so go eat skool eat lar, got prob meh. need to get all fussed up just because i can't eat at home. I understand u're worried but u can't keep force me to do things. And after so many years, u still dun understand that what how i tink and feel.

friday, finally the IBSM project has come to an end and everyone is celebrating. (Kudos to all my group mates, things could have been better if we got certain things out of the way from the start but what's done is done, we did great.) But i suddenly find myself trying to find more things for myself to do( yeah there's projects and reports to do alreadi but still) Why is that so? Am i trying to overachieve? I guess i just can't the insatiable and unstoppable thoughts in my head. It like eating my world from the inside. What it does is to make me feel sad and tired. Tired because it never stops and sad because i am never able to come up with a good answer.

And there was i guess i found peace in, looking and just gazing at the sky. I discovered as i lied on top of the heap of newspaper and barang. feeling a like tired but more importantly, my mind had slowed down momentarily. mayb i should do some star gazing as well. And today, i was quite pissed with this fella lar. Saying things like eh greg dun stress me leh, wad business idea and grade and wadeva shit not, i mean come on leh i didn't ask u to eavesdrop and most of all i didn't ask for ur comment.

Last thought for today is something i finally came up with. Many of us seek to excel not mainly for the reason that we want to have a brighter future but more the reason that we seek attention. well at least that's for me. but somehow the attention that i seek is quite i want. I mean yes, i am noticed but not in the way i desired. "people are like greg is smart" and that's it, the end of story. And some1 was talking about this fella who's really smart but she totally outcasts him and i tink to myself: What if the smarter, more successful, u get, the less people are are willing to interact with you. (sure there will a lot of people who want to interact with you for the wrong reasons, but what about the right ones?). Logically more of both are suppose to want to interact with you. but... why isn't this so? hmm

And so should we stop seeking excellence, seeking success, desiring recognition, learning? i really dunno what we are supposed to do with our life anymore.

Now i'm reading this book called "Tuesday with Morrie" very simple to read and it's very good. Was at this shop just now and the two sales girl hmm how should i say this, ok only saving grace was that one of them was quite pretty but other than that i have to my impression of them is really bad. their service really stinked. talking and babbling amongst themselves very loudly, den talking bad about certain types of customers, and i was like err. Hello, u gals are quite rude u know. and half way through talk about how bout getting a chubby les or bf cos will be very nice to hug. Okies lar i know Sg is getting liberal but saying dis kind of stuff when u are on duty. and one more things, is sorry that hard to say, be polite abit can.

Oh wells, till the next time i'm in a bad mood. adios.