It's Been So long

Alrite, I tink i've gotten over some of the things out of my mind but somehow i'm rapidly being localized again and i feel so shitty about myself again. Crap gotta stay happy(Happy Tots.. Happy Tots.) Anyways, I got spent the weekend clearing my room of millions of barang barang and i gotta say my dad spent too much money on books that i'll never touch. Thick Thick Fact Books and encyclopedias. I chucked all of them out despite displeasures from my sis but hey it really made me feel better knowing that my room is so much more empty. And i have to say you know wad's interesting is i haven really cleared my room in 7 years. Wow that's freaky.

And There i was going through all those stuff i found a lot of stuff with fond memories, photos, notes from friends, training camps handbooks and the letter i wrote to my parents for my graduation. I guess somehow that letter had no effect on my mother, she's kinda crude and insensitive( in some ways lar.. but hey no one's perfect) I have been hoping that she or my dad would actually one day say it to my face the words " Son i love You" and even in written form would be good. I've been waiting for close to 6 years now and it seems to be getting nowhere. It amazing how i was able to think like that at 16 but Thinking as it is, it was one of those letter that i wrote with all my heart.

So here it goes:


"Dear Mum, Dad,
I want to take this opportunity to say a few things to you.
First of all, thank you for giving me life, for bringing into this world. Many a times, i have always hoped to be taller and have always resented you for making me so short. But i want to tell you that i know that you love me( I hope you do) and I love you too. Thank You mommy for preparing breakfast for me, for looking after me all the days of my 16 yrs. Thanks also for nagging at me (eventhough you as well as i know that it doesn't really work). Thank you daddy for sending me to this wonderful school. Thank you for not getting angry at me when i am mad.

I know that i have never been a good son and i know that i might never be. But i can tell you that i have brought joy to your lives at a point in your lives and i am trying to change. I also know that i do not give you all the due respect you deserve. But let me quote Brother Michael, " You'll probably not know how precious something is until you lose it", so I'll probably not know how important you are to me until much later. Sorry for making your lives so inconvenient and making it so complicated.

Oh almost forgot about Regina, Thanks you for your advices. I'm sorry that i have called you names. It's just that sometimes you say such hurtful things

Mum and Dad, I'm growing up, I'm graduating from SJI. I don't know what i'll grow up to be or how successful i'll be. But i can tell you with certainty that i'll be your son, Gregory Raphael Zhou Mingjie, Borned on 16th Mar 1987.

Growing up is not easy. I think you know it and that is why you're always tolerant and concerned about me eventhough when i'm mad and cold to you. I just want you to know that you are very important people in my life.

Your Difficult Son,
With Love
Gregory