Will my life be the same like this always, the person who sits alone on a desserted bus looking out of the window?

Today has been a rather eventful day and I have been able to draw a lot about the meaning to my life. It started out at the office, as I arrived R asked me if I had anything urgent to do. My reply was an immediate ‘no’ and soon we were off together to Ocean Towers in Shenton Way. I didn’t bring a tie, so R grabbed a tie from K for me and we flagged a cab down to Ocean Towers. I spent the time on the cab looking through the tender documents and tying my tie. I guess it’s imperative the we know how to tie and also have a tie at every point of time because we’re in business and we need to meet clients.

At oceans tower, we waited for the suppliers and meet up with our clients and it was very interesting to see how people do business. They began by formalities of a handshake and exchange of business cards, brief introduction and we’re off to the main agenda. After we met everyone, we were off to the roof of Ocean Tower to view the water tanks that they were going to replace. When we reached there, you could all the potential supplier rushing to examine the tanks and location etc etc. It show a lot of passion in what they were doing. Yes it true that it’s for bread but ultimately if u don’t like your job, there is no way you can continue doing this. Some of the suppliers came alone and others came in a delegates, bringing their foreman and subcontractors etc. It was quite an eye opener. The small talk that the customers and the suppliers were having were quite interesting too. Just like how we would gossip about our bosses and the system. In business, I have to say that it still actually kinda hard to seek the kind of level of interaction that I seek with my pals, mainly because we are all so busy doing the numerous number of task. I had to call a few supplier to inform that the visit was over and that we would be leaving some documents with the customer for them to collect. After that, we took a cab back to the office.

On the way back, I found out more about R. Actually he just recently joined the company. He previously worked in S and his home is in M. He talked about the places he worked in a very advisory way. He was sort of smiling when he said all that but you could tell that he has hell lot of experience, and I have to say quite a lot of bad ones. I mean he could tell u that the Chinese are very smart people but they can backstab you in order to survive. It was a world when the fittest survived. Furthermore, because the Chinese dun really trust each others, they actually need accountants, lots of them to audit for them. He commented about Malaysia, his homeland in a way that showed that there a fair bit of unequal treatment. All I could muster was that Malaysia was changing, give it some time and he was like yeah but how long will it take. It was really quite sad for a Malaysian to comment about his country in such a way. Because he has joined trade one for not long, he find every experience a very refreshing and exciting one. I have to comment him for his passion and undying positivity.

Reaching the office, me, Tse Min and Darren went for lunch, we were at Mac eating and Tse Min caught site of this gal. She was the typical cutie. Fair, bespectacled, a pretty good figure, big eyes and a pretty sweet smile to top it off. We were commenting about her and guessing her age. She probably was our age cos we concluded that they were studying and the notes they were studying seem a little too thick to be sec school and promos were like almost over. So we conclude that they were studying for A’lvls. I found her cute too but too bad that I’ll never and probably never would approach a girl for her no. But who knows mayb few years down I would. After that we went back to the office to continue our work. I had a short meeting at the conference room about the benchmark report that I was supposed to help draft. It was really scary to know that all that I’ll be helping will be a pretty minor role in the initial stages but it was taking almost two weeks to do. So that was what it meant by you’re doing less but more at the same time.

After the pretty short meeting, I went back to doing data entry for Raymond and by the time I finished it was almost time to knockoff. Data entry was as easy as it seemed as I had look carefully so as not to have mistakes in the entries.

After work, I went down to meet the 538 for dinner and movie, we ate at Pastamania and then processed to watch “Wait till you’re Older”. I was making a lot of stupid remarks during the show but I have to say that the movie made me think about a lot of stuff. Firstly, there was the scene where the smaller boy was always wishing for freedom and to grow older. I guess, we all wish to be independent at one stage of our life, to be able to do whatever we want with our life. Secondly, it was the scene whereby when he was free, he helped his friends and he went after his crush, who is his teacher. But then he began to age very quickly and so he was frail and about to die. It just like how when you’re doing the things you wanna do, time just seem to past u by den and dere. Thirdly, it was the scene where the guys were playing the arcade and smoking about being unable to do certain things. It struck me like a hammer when he reminded how that there was always two sides to the same coin. We never really look at things from other’s point of view but ourselves. Really this was very meaningful to me when I feel that inability to solve my problems and the inability of other to sympathise with me. I am already like of the older guys in the movie, having a home but not being able to return to as you feel like such a failure there, so you spend time outside with some pals and playing the arcade and lan. And finally, the fact that we only live once and there is no way to turn back time, so we must live each day as it come to the fullest. It seems easy as I say this but it is actually really hard. I struggle to find courage to do the thing I do each day. Each day, I was struggle with the dilemma or whether I should shut everyone out or I should open myself to the outside world.

And on the way home, I sat all alone on this bus and I look around and there was this guys chatting with a gal, a friend. And I was thinking to myself everytime I sit on the bus, the seat next to me is always empty or occupied by a stranger. It makes me feel so miserable just thinking about it and just so stone trying to look on the bright side of this cruel fact about my inability to tackle simple problems.