The Singapore Dilemma

Well, it’s been a while since the school holidays began, actually it really long while… something like two weeks or so have passed and I have to say. I have done many things and yet nothing. If I were to summarize what I have been doing it really this

Watching Animes like Eureka Seven, Erementar Gerad, Saikano, School Rumble, RahXephon

Watching Movies: Devil Wears Prada, The Beat that my heart skipped, Singapore Dreaming, Snakes on the Plane
Going for IMF Training
Training for Dota Competition and then losing in the first round
Finished Reading my most recent book The Zahir by Paulo Coelho
Packing up my room
Trying to shop for essentials which ended up with many trips to shopping centre trying buy things and get my ear pierced but ended in vain. Only got one shirt after like 5 trips and haven got my ear pierced
Starting to exercising
Reading Time magazines
Went for SJI NCC Dinner
Lots of Daydreaming and feel unhappy
Going for Guitar Lessons
Catching up mr Brown shows


Well to a slacker, what I have done seems a lot but the truth, I haven really done much. There are still many things I would have wished I have done like

Finishing up my NYAA Journal, Getting a job, meeting new people

But most importantly, I wished that I would be able to address the most important question in my life.

What is my dream?
It has become very apparent that I don’t know what I’m doing when I simply sad half the time, like I see no meaning in playing Dota which I not very good but at least above average, studying is nothing more than a means to an end and to what end I’m question myself as well, me reading up on current affairs and books are nothing more than a search for an answer to this question, this meaning to life.

I guess I’m not alone as a lot of people also don’t know what they’re doing. After losing the Dota competition to quite interesting opponents, I wasn’t sad as I guess I was already prepared to lose. But my friend losing for his first time took it to heart quite hard and I would like to quote my other friends, “Can u feel the meaninglessness of the things we do”. I guess it’s really quite poignant that we are unhappy because we don’t really know what is waiting for us at the end of day. And this other guy countered back, “I think it’s time to get a girlfriend.” I would like to agree with him but I also know that not only is falling in love hard, being in a relationship also has it woes and of course, just because life is meaningless, getting a girlfriend will bring new to your life? I hope it would but I also know that it’s not true.

Whether there is meaning to our life or now is really up to us. People can give you advice and counsel and guide to leading an “ideal life”. But is this “Ideal life” what you have in mind. The Singapore Dream of having a condo, cash, car, career, credit card is nothing more than a superficial plan. Being able to fulfill this criteria doesn’t make one happy. Neither do awards if these things aren’t really what you want. Don’t get me wrong that these things don’t make you happy. But these things give u a temporary high, a temporal sense of achievement and pride but at the end of the day, we won’t remember these things, what we should be looking for is an everlasting happiness.

So as I take this moment, to uncover, to rediscover my first love, my passion, my dream, I ask all you reading this if there is to do the same. Tell me if you have found this meaning of life.