Maybe it's too late

well... this entry came a little too late... well three mths too late... but i guess somethings are better said than left bottled inside. Do it for the recognition, the pride, the money, i can only tell you to do it for yourself. For being pushed to the limit and beyond is not something everyone wants to go through. For me, it is a psychological struggle that has made the 3 mths in OCS such a torture. Maybe I was a little to preoccupied with things, too focused on nitty gritty, too scared of committing mistakes that has made it such a tiring time. I can heave a sigh of relief knowing i've completed svc term but yeah... it's still a long 6mths ahead.

Going thru it day by day isn't simple without support from loved ones.
Thank you dad for driving me to and fro whenever you have the time.
Thank you mom for helping me do the laundry every week i'm back.
Thank you sis for treating me those great meals and bitching about life in the outside world. Yes. NS really feels like a prison in some ways. But to make it some better. We're in a bubble, a bubble where the outside don't matter because we simply ain able to juggle. Planning for future? i'm just hoping for tomorrow to come. Trg is tough. It doable but it's tough. Focus is the key.

Thank you to my friends and buddies for everything. your company, your nonsense, my nonsense, our down moments, our happy moments. You are the ones that has made NS bearable.

You know there are many weeks when i book out, i really hope i could just be by myself. Enjoy a movie, reflect on life what gone wrong, what's going well, even to simply sleep in. but then u realize that hey i'm booking in tmr better get out and see the world, just a little bit will do. that's one of the reason why i seldom blog anymore. the other i simply dunno what to say.

telling you that trying hard to fall in love in ns is hard, or telling you that maintaining a relationship in ns is even harder. or mayb when u book out, you really just wanna sit down somewhere comfortable with a good view and just idle. remember the song chasing cars, really this is what i want to do when i book out. exercising? you must be nuts, there's already too much exercising in our daily routine, reading? how are you supposed to read with so many others things that you need to do? Den when you're out, ppl ask you how army and stuff? I like to tell them ok lor, like that lor, sian.... not because it's just always sian but because i just wanna drop it. being out is already a luxury, do i really wanna spend time thinking bout army life or would i rather, watch a movie, catch up with family and friends.

love life? try finding a way to meet up...lol It's a pain in the ass. sure sometimes just by looking at fotos, you get this tots and feelings but yeah they do fade without the communication. and new tots start to arise like mayb it's better this way.