EQ 0

Guess i'm not the most emotionally stable person around. Yesterday nite, i thought about where i'm headed next. JC or Poly? This is reall vexing, i dunno what i wanna to. The more i think about it the most stressed up i become. Den I stared up at the ceiling at some how tears started trickling down my cheeks( and who say boys don't cry). People are saying 12 points is good but i am still so stressed with good results. Dad is asking me to go poly and i'm like i dunno what course i should take.

Legion Outing Plus Company Camp Night Walk

todae woke up really late(1030), was feeling really tired for no apparent reason. Watch Transformers, den read newspaper, ate porridge for Brunch. Watch That's Life on channel i. Den went to meet Mr Ang and the QOAS members for linner(lunch + dinner)and den mass at Risen Christ. Mark, Thomas, Mr Ang, Marcus, Gabriel, Dominic and Timothy were in the gang. Thomas as usual, talks too much crap. The songs at the church are dead boring man, not that i want to praise my church choir. But it does sound less draggy and less monotonous. After that went back to SJI.

Just in time for nightwalk. This year journey start at SJI and ends at Marine Bay via Cavenagh via Istana via SAM. Jude Tan is persuading me to join as a CLT but i'm like(4 years is enough to haunt my life). Neo is like trying to psycho me and Alan to come back as CLTs but we have no intention of doing so. At the start of the nite walk, ppl were still calling me encik and i was like .... ( Damn why did i join ncc in the first place ) During the nite walk, heard that the part d were getting punished. Although sir melvin dyed his hair, nothing change. Still as evil, he can still tell me this , " U know I'm an angel, I let the CSM be the bastard". Crap fella. Den we reached our final destination of the walk at marina bay, we went for a snack at marina square den took a bus back. At the bus-stop, there were 4 buses to skool. 700, 190 ,171 and dunno wad. Den this group of land part c boarded the bus, den i was like why they so eager to get back to skool. Dun they know that they're gonna be tortured tonite. The infamous psycho night of ncc(land). The famous army phrase, You Rush to Wait. I changed it to Rush to get screwed and sir melvin dunno y started laughing saddistically. Siao.

one strange thing really today i discovered is that i'm a damn boring person. I can't hold a conversation.There were those moments when i just sat there or walk with nothing much to say. It's like i don't have anything much in common to talk about and there will be this awkward silence.

The "Last" slack day

The previous day, i went out to watch Big Fish. It's really a great movie, a compelling tale about a father(edward bloom) who twisted the truth of his life to make it sound more magical like a fantasy, causing his son, about to become a father himself trying to find out who his dad really. In the end, his son discovers that what that is important is not the facts, whether they were true or but not, but the moral of the stories. i.e. Love. After watching the show, i thought to myself, what will happen if i did really badly for my O's, will my parents still love me. After that, i went to play pool at the yellow building. Henry joined us. He had been busy training with the National Table Tennis Team. It was good to see him again.As usual, kevin would make fun of me and henry lar, and we would just be quiet and not spoil the fun. Sometimes, his jokes get a little stale after he keeps repeating them over and over again. We played lan and arcade, den pool again until past midnight, with O level results looming at the back of our minds.


D-Day

At 9.30am, i awoke from my slumber. In this retracted state, afraid to face what was ahead of me. I kept looking towards my mom, hoping to receive some comforting words. After stoning in the bathroom for quite a while, i went to meet my classmates, he had intended to go have breakfast, and do sometings together, we ended up playing pool and lan.( Like wad's news). I reached school exactly at 230pm. I was really at the brink of breakdown. Heart pounding really hard. After reading the statistics, we were able to go take our results slip. At that moment, my anxiety rose, simply becos my index number is 34 ( last in class). Seriously man, i'm gonna change my surname to Chew. Damn stupid to be always the last guy. And so it was, i received my result slip and i was staring at it. B B A A A B A B. I tallied the results and found out i got 12 pts. And so i was happy that i didn't flung it. After that, went to thank some of the teachers, went down to the air room, found sir melvin dere, his hair damn ugly but nevermind it's his hair. Company Camp is taking place, going back to help out. Will really miss SJI

Yu Quan asked me to update.So i'm updating in the lan shop.

AH~!~! Results this friday, JAE takes place the following day
AH~!~!

It's confirmed the worst time of the day for me is in the morning when u have to wake up but dun feel like it.
Mass was ok, morning was quite dull. Den i went to take a nap from 1130 to bout 1pm. Went to Aunt home in Toa Payoh, her house is always like some holiday resort, best part is there's always an abundance of food. Found The Pianist VCD and decided to buy it. After watching it, it's makes me feel how lucky i am. Not having to worry about my life, when my next meal will be, not be able to do the things you love to do most.

meet Alex for lunch. ask me to meet him at 1230 when his lunch break was at 115pm. waste my time man. i walked around Popular looking at the novels and CDs they had. When i save up, i think i'll buy norah jones new album. And so at 130, we to eat lunch at Kopitiam. After we ordered , we were this place is expensive man, $4 for so little food. Though we know it's a shopping centre but it's the suburbs leh, even PS serve larger servings. we were not full enuff, so we went to buy sushi, den alex complain it's not worth it, so we bought bean cakes to eat. so he went back to work and i took a walk home 20 minutes.

Nothing much happened today. Quite lame actually, today got my sis to wake me up in the morning. And i actually did, at 700am. Then i went to the toilet, went back to bed, thought about what there was to do.Since there was really anything, i went back to sleep again. Woke up much later, made a point to bathe in cold water cos i didn't want to fall back to sleep again.

Read about Lee Kuan Yew again. It's really interesting how he describes each world leader and event. And like how he made a point to befriend leaders of country that would be beneficial to Singapore. EEC, US , Japan etc.

Actually got more to say but i can't express myself.. Think i'm gonna stop here.

I stumbled on this poem

Life



Life is an opportunity, benefit from it

Life is beauty, admire it

Life is a dream, realise it

Life i a challenge, meet it.

Life is a duty, complete it

Life is a game, play it

Life is costly, care for it

Life is wealth, keep it

Life is love, enjoy it

Life is mystery, know it

Life is a promise, fulfil it

Life is sorrow, overcome it

Life is a song, sing it

Life is a struggle, accept it

Life is tragedy, confront it

Life is an adventure, dare it

Life is luck, make it

Life is too precious, do not destroy it

Life is Life, fight for it


Mother Theresa

this is really vexing, when is results coming.
Some bums are telling me this week. the others are saying 27th. and i kinda prefer 27th it'll be less of a shock that's for sure.

On the 16th of February 2004,the first day of the second week of the month, 11 days before Judgement Day( O' lvl results ), 28 days b4 my 17th BirthDay, i had an rather productive day.When most sudents are in school and professionals starting work, i was awaken by the a chilly breeze. ( i was already wearing a wind breaker and track pants). Still rather sleepy, i sat cross-legged in bed, hugging a pillow. The Day has begun.

I trudged towards the kitchen in search of a cup of water. As usual, my mother is there, nagging at me not to take cold water ( cold, not because it was left in the fridge, but cold because it was left out for the night). Half asleep, i din not argue. i washed my face and went to read the Sunday Times on a monday morning ( quite laggy i know). And so, the morning ended. In the afternoon, i did some exercises, 111 counts of 8 jumping jacks, 111 sit ups. Went off to shower and went out to meet Kevin & co. We played pool at the "Yellow Building"( so called becos we dunno the name + the building entrance is painted yellow), a five minutes stroll from Somerset MRT station. We played 2v2 ( it's becoming a routine). I did many phenomenons( or wad they call "gay shots" or tyco). I will highlight one such shot. the cue ball ball was at the corner pocket, diagonally, there was the 8 ball and at behind it near the cushion was the green ball. They were all saying that i was nut to try to shoot someting liddat. I was not to be deterred. I concentrated on the cue ball, took aim at shoot the green ball, narrowly missing the black ball, forcing the green ball to roll with the guidance of the cushion into the corner pocket. Another occurance was when i shoot both the cue ball and the yellow out of the table at the same time. It was hilarious( first time i've did it... u see). So we played for close to 2 hours.

went to play lan(seriously it sounds like a routine). Had dinner at Kopitiam ( lvl 3 Plaza Singapore) Den walked to a cafe near Paradiz Centre, Mr Bean's Cafe( when Kevin & Meng works). After that had to take a bus 16 to TBP( cos alex dunno the way to the bus-stop and my bus home just left). Alighted at Tiong Bahru Plaza and jogged home( about 15 mins jogging)

Now going to take a shower ( ya at 12:36AM). Gonna read LKY's Second book which is interesting but i see a lot of repetition on events everywhere( he wrote it in topics instead of chronologically, as according to him, it would have been longer)So Chao.

Just did this test and here's the result and some comments ( i've made in bracket)

1. You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and
free. ( wad's the meaning of untrammeled? aniwae i tink quite accurate lar)

2. In the process of courtship, the approach that would make you
feel irresistable is straight-forward, just tell you he/she
loves you. ( Quite true lar )

3. The impression you would like to give to your lover is optimistic. ( how am i supposed to know + i dun have a gf)

4. You don't like it when your partner is emotional and/or too
moody; and you don't know how to please him/her. ( the bottom part is true)

5. The kind of relationship you would like to build with your
partner is one that you care not only about the present but
also the future with your partner, a long-lasting relationship
that you can grow with. ( i hope so ar )

6. You care about the society and morality, you won't do anything
wrong after marriage. ( not married cannot comment)

7. You think of marriage as a precious thing. Once you get married,
you'll treasure it and your partner very much. ( Duh)

8. At this moment, you are quite self-centered; you think of love as
something you can get and trash anytime you want. ( this doesn't sound like me )

Love

What is Love? Love is a feeling . An affection for someone or for something. it can be the unique bond between a male and a female who like each other, the bond between good friends or even the immense devotion you have to your computer.

A simple four lettered word it may be, but i carry such a strong meaning. Today is Valentine's Day. It may be an important day for dating couples, to be weds and married couples. To me, however, it is sad to say that it carries little meaning. After a long day at home, all i can remember about this year's valentine's Day is the article in the Straits Times Forum about Romancing Singapore. It talked about instead of romancing singapore, how bout rebooting singapore. It talked about how this Romancing Singapore Festival which is to encourage more people to remember the little things in life i.e. Love and that money is not everything is actually a campaign to encourage more couples to tie the knot and procreate. Because of singapore's ever declining birth rate.

After reading the article, i agreed that we reboot singapore. Not in the sense returning to it's original state. But changing the attitude of the people. In the minds of singaporean are how to remain competitive in an ever changing global economy. To retain our jobs, to do well in our studies, to excel and be better than the fella next to you. i was watching this show on tv just now. " in america, you work and when you're off, you tink about work. But in Italy, we think about love. . These words made me think a little deeper into what is important in my life.

My visit to SP

today went to SP for like 1 hr. it's so lame i tell you. Kevin , Alex, meng are not people who like to go to open houses with man, go down dere for a while and decide to leave. We din even do a ting dere. Furthermore, i had intended to go down to NP to look see look see, however, he have different ideas and decided to go to town. Man looks like i need to go to NP myself. Went to somerset to play pool. Today ain't really a very good day. Although i made many good shots, i make many "exceptional" shots, i shot the black ball in prematurely 3 times. ie. i made my team lose. See lar cannot play with kevin too much or you end up shoot the black ball in prematurely. After went to meet sis and dad at queensway to buy shoes. it's really farni, all the shoes i like are meant for ladies. Quite irritating you know, it's not just this season, most of the time i go to queensway, what catches my eyes are the ladies model. As for the men's, there are onli a few i like, then the fun part is that they're always out of stock.

Just rearrange the furniture in my room. Although it looks different, it's still the same. The furniture haven been changed, only their position did. It's kinda like a story bout difference b4 a crumbled $10 dollar bill and fresh $10 out of the bank. Although the conditions of the notes are different, their is still the same. So what?? why am i bringing this up. This is just to remind me that no more what happened, i'm still the same. They say that people change, i beg to defer. We may change our appearance, our nationality,or even our outlook to life, but we are still the same. What we are is still the same. What's deep down in our hearts never change.

If You Believe

I close my eyes

and even when i'm sleeping

i'm alright

coz you are in my life

once upon a time

i only imagined this

and now you're mine

wished for you so hard

prayed that you'd find me

maybe you're here today

here to remind me

if you believe that dreams come true

there's one that's waiting there for you

coz i believed when i saw you

that when you want something enough

then it can't escape your love

there is nothing in the world that cannot be

if you believe

everybody said

that i was a fool to think

that we'd connect

but i couldn't get

my heart out of my head

they just didn't see

no they just couldn't know

the feeling that you gave

the places that you go

if you believe that dreams come true

there's one that's waiting here for you

coz i believed when i saw you

that when you want something enough

then it can't escape your love

there is nothing in the world that cannot be

if you believe

i never wished for material things

never needed wind in my wings

i never wished for anything but you

i can't explain it

someone just told me

go where your heart is

you'll never be lonely

if you believe that dreams come true

there's one that's waiting here for you

coz i believed when i saw you

that when you want someone enough

then they can't escape your love

there is nothing in the world that cannot be

if you believe