Well quite a lot have been going on, first there were the tests, cma, ecd, the hrm presentation and next week there'll be ecd and open house.

Well this semester has been one where one i guess that the sleeping giant awoke and i'll just have to take a backseat. Not matter how hard i try, it seems that he will always been one step ahead of me. and i really mean it, well academically wise at least. You know, the tutor were talking bout dunno wad zest award being award to like this role model in class or whatever and i see one thing, if i was a role model, i sure ain a perfect one. the onli thing that i'm probably doing rite is staying the course and continue to bust my arse. One day i would get there to being that ideal person i am.

You know, i'm reading this book called rich dad poor dad and it's like suppose to be telling me wad to do to get rich and as i continue to read. it seems more like a self-improvement books. It compels me to think about what areas i want to improve on. And so i guess the first most important thing is to probably improve my public speaking and to speak more fluently calmly and confidently. or else i can nv move from being a planner to a director. a director of my own life. And after a few millions movies, i finally discover that the greatest enemy is not god, not my fucked up neighbour below, not people i like but ME.

I'm the director of my destiny and all i see now is a lot of inadequecies and a lot of room for improvement. Room for me to grow to care more about myself and stop giving a damn about other whom i wish to help but they just fucking won't listen. I mean i used to think that leaving things unsolved is the best solution and they'll solve by themselves but i guess the best is to KIV a problem i am unable to solve now and try again later when i have a idea and furthermore, i should try and get out of this rat race. This fucked up society we live in, where i can live my life happily and fruitfully with having to feel that i have not done my best. Well I really hope that i can hit that dream and goal

But at the rate it's going, i dunno even if i bust my butt, there's like a 50% chance that i'm gonna be sway.

The Spur of the Moment

Okies the past few days, has been a emotional drain/ drag for me. I haven feel so low on motivation & morale and emotions are just seem so unneeded for a long time.

Well it must be cos of the fact that for every exam so far, i've been losing marks for the stupidest of mistakes which i know but just fucking lost my cool during the exam and lost the mark. Bleah.. Tmr getting back blaw... not gonna be pretty.

now i'm feeling slightly better having been able to laugh at my stupid mistakes while playing arcade with my friends. it was just so farni, ultimately i guess it all about having fun. If you losing and you feel fucked up... u're just gonna feel fucked up at the end of it. so i guess it's the best to feel happy and cheerie even if life just completely screws with you. Now it just simply sound like we should try and enjoyed being fucked or something(l0l, haha, come on why not man, sex is cool man... wahahaha)

anyway, the last time i was talking about perfection being flawed. well i guess it really is. I mean wad makes a thing/person or wadeva not perfect? Well the dictionary says something that is perfect is something that is not lacking in anything or in any particular way. ) okies still dun detect the flaw in this concept of perfection.

well, how do u define a perfect wife? pretty? fair? nice figure? lively? adorable? sweet? good mother? smart? sociable? etc etc i mean come on even if u find someone who fits that description, do you she'll love u. (point 1)

Point 2 being okies how to do define a perfect score. Okies i'm in poly now, GPA 4.0 would mean a perfect score.. Rite? well not quite. It depends how u define perfect. Is perfect straight Distinction, Straight As or a mixture of both and so if it's a mixture of both, den how can it be perfect. it's not pure.

Perfect is not an absolute standard for many things in life. It's a relative standard. it depends on the eyes of the beholder. some1 with low expectation or different interest will think that with all these thing going for him. it's perfect.
But for another it's far from perfection.

So is there an perfect answer to the question? is Perfect perfect? well i guess for me there just isn't such a ting anymore.

Something to Ponder

Okies Very tired now

Just something to ponder

Perfection is Flawed.

How so, tell ya again

CMI+A +BLAW+HRM +IE

Well i haven been sleeping well, my clock is screwed up, my fitness is declining, and my mood is just following in that direction. It was Hari Raya, no one was going out, so i decided to go out myself. Trying to find some motivation to do work and trust me when i say girls are the last on my mind. Yes, it's selfish when i say i want the feeling of being loved and motivated but dun want the feeling of being caged so i'm not gonna dwell it much. I guess, i'm just gonna just continue to seek the ideal solution. Yeah as i was saying, went to subway to have dinner and now i really want to buy that strike rouge MG model even if it costed a bomb. Well, u know me, money is an issue but it's nv the biggest. So i headed down to chinatown OG to look for the model and tmd.. they had strike, they have freedom, they have strike freedom but not strike rouge so i was like pretty sad lar and i made my way home.
Den i was like ah heck i'll just get chrno crusade the anime cos i loved it and i want to find out the ending and of cos the music was just so soothing.

Haiz.. everything is coming like a flood and i'm just in no mood to do work. I have really been procrastinating today. Din really do much. In the morning, i was like okies i'm gonna do work today. I'm gonna go library find the torts books and hurry with our BLAW but den after like 30 mins lost steam alreadi. After went for cma, well did worst than expected. I knew i screwed up but i din expect a B+, 76 marks, bleah( most will say it's good lar but man u know u're put in all the effort and it came out like this, it just doesn't make sense)On the bright side, it's on 20%. Which mean it's pretty much salvageable but i fuck lar, i was really hope to sweep this sem.Cos i owed it to myself. In poly, it just seem like this big shit hole and there simply much room for me to prove my worth to myself and my family. Well my family doesn't expect much of me, but i really want to justify all that i am not a prodigal son.

Hopefully, i'll do well for the rest of the paper. but well know i screwed LAW sianz. Just have to keep busting my ass i guess. You know i was tinking about one impt thing about myself. What do i want, or is it really that i don't know? i guess i know, but it's all a blur with lots of redundant stuff around it. It's like the reason why i dun like crowds and lots of noise. You put me in there long enough i can take about probably be immersed in it but the point is i really hate noises. It clouds your judgement, it makes u lose focus and worst off it makes you lost yourself.

My dad was like saying i was picky and i dun eat lot of this and i'm pretty hopefully, i mean u tink i dun want to, it's not like i've got a choice man. I can't take it. I have to learn but u expect me to do everything all at the same time? haiz wad the use of being angry or vexed... Nitez

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||||||||||| 53% Stability |||||||||||||| 60% Orderliness |||||||||||||| 53% Accommodation |||||||||||||| 56% Interdependence |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Intellectual |||||||||||||||||| 76% Mystical |||||||||||||| 56% Artistic |||||||||||||| 56% Religious |||||||||||||||| 70% Hedonism |||||||||| 36% Materialism |||||||||| 36% Narcissism |||||||||||||||| 70% Adventurousness |||||||||||||| 56% Work ethic |||||||||||||||||| 76% Self absorbed |||||||||||||||| 63% Conflict seeking |||||||||||| 43% Need to dominate |||||||||||| 50% Romantic |||||||||||||||||| 76% Avoidant |||||| 23% Anti-authority |||||||||||| 43% Wealth |||||||||||| 43% Dependency |||||||||||||||| 70% Change averse |||||||||||||| 56% Cautiousness |||||||||||||| 56% Individuality |||||||||||||||| 63% Sexuality |||||||||| 36% Peter pan complex || 10% Physical security |||||||||||||||| 70% Physical Fitness |||||||||||||||||||| 84% Histrionic |||||||||||| 50% Paranoia |||||||||||||| 56% Vanity |||||||||||||||| 63% Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||| 63% Female cliche |||||| 23%

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BLAW

bleah should be sleeping now, but just can't sleep
dun feel prepared for blaw,yeah too much case law to rmb liao. so yeah lor hopefully can rmb wad i read la. Okies nite nite

I'm Optimistically Neutral

I was reading some blog just now and everyone seems so sad and for the past few days, i haven feel the feeling of sadness. All that is left within me is a quiet happiness and acceptance of the imperfection of the life i am walking. Yes, it just so queer how we feel so frustrated with ourselves all the time because we feel that this isn't quite wad i should be doing. I should having fun with my friends. I should irrational and impulsive and just go party. Well, i oso dunno, i'm impulsive by nature but my impulse doesn't make me do such stuff why? i just wonder. Mayb i just don't feel strongly enuff for them.

Oh yeah i read this really interesting book the other day and it dawned on me that there are many people out there who ain't actually in love but in love the idea that they're in love. Sound damn complicated rite. It simply means that you're not in love with your partner but plainly because u loved the feeling of being love. It warped, and quite weird but otherwise logical.

Oh i haven told many wad i did for the week. But i guess the words, peaceful, contentment, acceptance, alone, determination and dream more or sums it up. If u can guess what i did. Well sms/msg me, u know where to find me.