Living Tmr

Somemore Stuff i ripped off Hong Jun... It's worth reading

Are you constantly living for tomorrow...
that you have forgotten to live for today?

We are always doing the things we do today in hope of the big pay-off that we hope will materialize tomorrow.

We always see things not as they are, but as what we want them to be.

We want to believe that there is more to something that it really is.

We intepret signs and signals according to what we want to believe the greater power wants us to see.

We fear not we cannot do, but what we can potentially achieve

What we portray ourselves to be often isn't who we really are

We sometimes commit mistakes not because of stupidity, but because of the sincere desire to believe that "it could be"We dwell in denial because confusion is just too much to bear

We want things to be simple yet we choose to complicate everything when it seems too simple to be true.

It begins with sighs

-sighs- trying to make my entries meaning eh? haiz.. what trouble just to post my feeling. why the hassle.. It's so vexxing. so frustrating.. such a waste of brain cells and energy. It seems weird that i'm backing out again on my own promise. I guess i have back out/ chickened out/ pussed out/ slacked so much that i now find myself trapped in this vicious cycle where i'm in a constant state of depression, waning hope, weak believe that things will get better once u get in the rhythm, get the hang of it or whatever u like to call. But i find myself powerless to pull myself out of it. I remember doing a problem on HRM last sem urging people to give ex-offenders a second lease at life.

So ironic now, i feel like i'm stuck and praying, hoping for something, someone to come along and be a catalyst. Oh u tink i'm so smart, i'm so happening, so sociable, so confident, so great to have as a group mate, so perfect . But i haven demystify the myth. I has low self-esteem, i take pride in my work because it is the only way to prove my worth, I seem like a somebody but i'm pretty much a nobody, i am probably the one of the few who has given up hope for true love and take comfort knowing that there's always love novels, the love story some where on the internet used to scam people but nontheless loves it because it seems to be the only consolation. I have no life and i used to tink that people who play games and chat and get involved in things have no life. I get having too much free with nothing to do is even worst. Well, i could always do my tutorials but i just too lazy. See no i'm contradicting myself again. U know what i really need. A big distraction. A really powerful and beautiful happy memory..

Oh screw this i have no idea, what i'm talking about anymore , Really need to just clear my tots.

Me

Some rubbish personality test results from Quizbox
Part 1:

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Part 2:


You are a very serious person. You tend to be quiet and well behaved, and you don't have a great deal of self-confidence. You prefer to be alone rather than with friends and that could make you a little less interesting to certain types of guys. You are very attractive in an individual kind of way, and this means it can take people a little while to get to like you.

You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.

You are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person. You are thoughtful and considerate, and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people's eyes are likely to be drawn to you because of your charm.

Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?

Your girlfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including her, are thinking.

Part 3:

You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the women that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high.

Part 4:

Your kindness is your charm - you are also gentle and sweet. Everybody likes to be around people with your personality. Like a psychologist, people like to talk to you to discuss their problems because you are proper and discrete, as well as confident. You look mature and people respect you. People with this kind of character are few and far between.

Part 5:

You value your friendships quite a lot but you don't like to show your feelings to others. You would rather keep your feelings to yourself than share them with your friends. You might get a pleasant surprise if you are more open about caring for people - they will probably let you know that you're special to them, too.

I grabbed this from Clement's Blog.

The Pope and the LimoAfter getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.

"Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver," Would you please take your seat so we can leave?"

"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today."

"I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.

"Who's going to tell? Besides, there might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope with a smile.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph. (Remember, he's a German Pope.)

"Please slow down, Your Holiness!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

"Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license -- and my job!" moans the driver.The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher. The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.

"So bust him," says the Chief."I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed," All the more reason!""No, I mean really important," said the cop with a bit of persistence.

The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"

Cop: "Bigger."
Chief: " The Governor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
Chief: "The President?"
Cop: "Bigger."
"Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"
Cop: "I think it's God!"

The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, "What makes you think it's God?"

Cop: "He's got the Pope as a chauffeur."

Beginning of the End

So here we are again, at the end of another holiday, that began with so many goals and objectives that seemed daunting and at the end of it, i can only say, i've managed to do some but not the others. Like fore instance, i intended to finish at least half my NYAA diary, but well as it stands, probably 10% done. But i guess, i can take comfort in the fact that it wasn't a complete idle but not a completely fulfilling holiday just like life. For every step forward, there is a half step backwards, but hey at least i'm moving forward. And with eventuality, i will make it move a little faster.

Now is the beginning of the end, with the just 4 modules, 3 exams, 1 Open House, 1 Red Camp, few more BA Cares activity and a tons of personal desires to be realised before i get drafted into the Armed Forces with like a 90% to begin my 2 years of Brotherhood.

THe other things that i wanted to post was about the a past "romance" i had. Well dunno whether u could have considered a romance or a flirt or whatever but i guess, i was right to have went any further for it would ended in more pain for the both of us as I pondered upon for some reason yesterday in the coupled filled Vivo City. I wasn't really in love with you but rather with the idea of being in love.

What Do You Want?

So here i am again bringing you of my wonderful yet dreadful weekend. Saturday morning, sang for a wedding mass. It was alrite only. The weddings as well as our singing eventhough it's a once in a lifetime event that i make sure that if it's my turn, it would be perfect. After that, i went home to rest before meeting Yx and Zk to finalize stuff the outing to chinese garden in the evening and it was kinda awkward because they were like so lovely dovely and i was like some bloody light bulb. Oh well the nite was great but it could better if i actually did manage to walk the entire park. The thing that ruined the night for me wasn't the fact that we didn't finish walking the park or that everyone were walking their own ways but rather, some people tried to pair me up with mel. I found it really really irritating when there's spectators trying take control of my life especially in the aspect of love. It troubled me for the entire night and those that i talked didn't seem to be able to understand my standpoint.

And so i had couldn't sleep go god knows what reasons and i woke up feeling very sianz, unmotivaed, unrefreshed despite the extra sleep. I went for mass slightly late, missed the entrance hymn as usual before. I actually paid some attention to the words in the psalm as well as the reading. It was talking about love & marriage. I was like, "Great, what are you trying to tell me god?" That it's time to get a girlfriend? and that after the entire mass, i finally realised that what he wanted me to remember is that there is no perfect girl out there but if there is a girl somewhere out that you want to make the no.1 priority, to continue learn and understand, to grow with her, share your life with. And it was great that today, amanda came, nick came and we could harmonize the songs. The Song that stayed with me for a while was "Love which never ends" by Ernest Sands if i'm not wrong.

Since, we're on the topic of love i'll like to discuss about human's nature to romanticize everything. We do have these romantic impression running through our heads when say for example, I pierced one ear so that when i find my partner, she and I will share a pair of ear rings. or like when you walk alone in a park, you have this illusion that one day, you will bring you loved one here, holding hands, whispering sweet talks into each other's ear. I just like to say that all these are not real and that it may never happen like the way you imagine it in the mind. When you in it, you might feel it but when you look back at it, you would remember the romance.

What's True Love and When is Love Truly True? This question is i have posed to myself a few times already and also i haven gotten the answer but i have to tell you guys out there that the true in the matter is that love is about 2 ppl, not 3 or 4 so all your spectators out there, pls do not edict your will on others life. Even God doesn't do that. If they're made for each other, it's meant to happen. Yes. i've all have this conflict of the heart & mind and i get caught up in the heat of the moment, not so much from the interaction itself but from the "overzealous" spectators and you notice that this is not what You want but what others want and i want to say this to you. "Please Think for yourself and Stay true to your beliefs eventhough they are others dun agree with you."

Movie Nightmare

Well this was one of my pet project this week to get my mom off my back for slacking at home. I took out all my ticket stubs that i have collected over the past 3.5 years(2003 to 2006) and collate the data on spreadsheet.

here are the statistics

186 Movies Not Including another 20 to 30 movies that i din keep the stubs
$1375.50 spent on the tix no including the drinks and occassional pop corn
Tiong Bahru Plaza, Plaza Singapura, The Cathay being the most frequently visited in that order
Movie Genre ranging from the Comedy, RomCom, Cartoon, Period Films, Drama, Horror/Thrillers, Epics, Nonsense films, Indies, Production/ almost everything under the sun there's a bit of it.

What was startling to me, was not the results i got when i was entering the data, but rather recollection of every film i'll watch and the thoughts that i was having when i was watching the show. It was kinda sad to realised i felt such a loner, everytime i couldn't find company to go out, i was having a bad day, i need someone to talk to but somehow talking to my mum is like more frustrating, i decided to take a toll on the pockets and watch a movie, and sometimes it was just let me escape the harsh reality that my life is going down the drain and whatever i'm waiting for to happening is not happening. I escape to a world when there are problems but the problems are not mine. And also to experience the happiness of love, and the woes that also come with it.

But i also glad to say that somethings have changed. Like i more acceptable with the fact of life and that i dun watch that many movies or lone it so much now. And instead of escaping, i'm trying to face up to them with a little help from the reel life.

Thoughts of the Weeks

Well you know how it is that i'm trying to make entries more like sharing than personal lamentation( dunno whether there's actually such a word). And this week like many other weeks has been one filled with many thoughts from this tiny brain of mine.

Being born imperfect beings, we do stupid things. We do them without knowing whether they're good or bad for us until much later on. Sometimes we're glad that we were bold and we actually did it, in other cases we regret being such dumb asses that we are for doing the things we do. This week is no different from the other weeks. I spent a large doing spastic things before somethings struck me like

1) Ear Piercing - The motives for Piercing, The Impression and Acceptance of Piercing

Abit like my first social psychology experiment where i question dyeing my hair. But since this time i dun need to present this or impress anyone. I'll have to say that there are many reasons why people have body piercing. Here are Some:

1. They Look Nice - seriously they do, look at all the fancy and pretty bling bling but den again pls use some discretion.
2. Cos they enjoy the pain - yeah much like why people slit their wrist, smoke, drink alcohol, in actual alot of this things are harmful to our body but still we do it become it helps us divert our attention away from our troubles and numb them in a different kind of pain. This is something interesting to note)
3. Novelty and the you only live once bullshit - Well i came up with it but i tink it's kinda bull myself. It news and you want to try it or else you might never get a chance to try it again.
4. "it reminds me that I am actually capable of doing something right" - Dunno how many will agree with me on this but don't you think that there are many things in life that you hope to achieve, but no matter how much you try, they never seem to be realised. And so piercing my ear was actually a reminder to me that i'm not a failure and that there are still things in this world that i'm capable of achieving.

2) The Dissociation of Love & Sex

This is something i never get as well. Falling in Love is a alright subject to talk about but sex is like this taboo subject that cannot be discussed openly. As a matter of fact, these kind of stuff should be discussed together and not seperately.

You mean after you fall in love, you get married and the babies just fall from the sky? You mean that the porn that is oh so rampant on the internet is wrong, we shouldn't be doing that? Why? Then what should we be doing? Hey i just don't understand why, we see love as this pure thing where people just hold hands and talk when it's definitely more complex than it looks

I think it's time we face up to facts, quote mr Tang Wing Kee, "Sex is not dirty, it's a beauty things." It your mind that is dirty. I mean people actually do call it "Making Love" rite.

3) The Cheap Thoughts, Unspoken Words and the Louder actions

Yeah... This is the cowardice of me... I always like to say this and than, and sometimes just sometimes i make things all cheem so that it seems like i have some difficulties. And i'll thinking of this and that yada yada and it gets no where. What i'll like to say it that it more important to do it than to think it.

But it does help in someone is able to help you along, to give advice or even like the phrase " it takes two hands to clap".

Yeah... Finally completed the new blog template, complete with clock, pic loop, and songs. Quite happy with it other than the tiny fonts. Well gonna collate my thought and post something real soon. ciaoz

Eh, i'm blog skin hunting at the moment, when i find a nice one, i will change again.